Perfectionism is usually a reason you DON’T achieve your goals! Why?
Because perfectionism often develops from unresolved trauma and lack of self-worth.
If there is a trauma or huge self-limiting beliefs (deep inner layers of self) which are not addressed, goals never can be achieved only by focusing on nutrition and workouts (surface layers of self).
See it like an iceberg analogy. Those outside or surface layers like your workouts and even eating the healthiest meals are only the tip of an iceberg poking out of the water.
However, the biggest part of an iceberg is under the water, invisible, yet the most fundamental part that is holding and forming the whole iceberg.
So how does that relate to becoming a perfectionist you may ask…
Well, if you live with a belief that you are unworthy or that you have to prove your worth through any kind of achievement, status, or fitting into certain societal expectation boxes … you will do anything to ‘prove’ yourself and will be constantly pushing yourself to the ground and earning those ‘accomplishment medals’.
The reality is – nobody is or can be perfect.. What does perfect even mean?
So if you chase and expect yourself to be perfect.. you are chasing a ghost.. something that can never be caught.
In health and wellness terms, you can’t be perfect either.
That’s where so many people go wrong and become their own self-sabotage reason.. when they start a health journey or a specific plan to achieve any goal.. all of a sudden they expect something impossible – the whole world to stop and let them do everything perfectly in order to get to their goal.
Let’s say fat loss is your goal. You start your fat loss plan on Monday. Even on Sunday and of course weeks, months, and if not years before, you were living and behaving in one way.. but you expect to wake up on Monday and be a completely different human without all those deep inner conditioned patterns, behaviors, and beliefs which of course will be affecting your plan in all sorts of ways.
All of a sudden you expect to do 5 workouts in a week, eat only whole foods, meditate for an hour a day, and don’t allow stress from work to affect you.
This would be a perfectionist type of mindset.
Guess what would happen in reality?
You would have to miss at least one workout because your family member got sick.. you would grab at least one convenience type of meal because you forgot to prep your lunch a day before, you would not be able to meditate even for 10 min because stress makes your mind go wild and you can’t stay still…etc etc.
In these cases, when you start noticing that you can’t be perfect.. you ‘reinforce’ that feeling of unworthiness.. with thoughts and beliefs like ‘I am just not good enough’, ‘I just never will be able to have will power’, ‘I am just not good at time management’. ‘I am just destined to be overweight’…
And that’s when you give up or go chasing another plan or diet.. that’s when you self-sabotage your progress.
Solution?
Be realistic and be gentle to yourself!
If you start from the place where you don’t workout at all – focus on increasing your daily step count first before jumping into weight lifting 4 times per week..
If you are not plant-based yet, start educating and empowering yourself with knowledge and information on why dairy is detrimental to health… instead of cutting all animal products all at once and then feeling lost and overwhelmed…
And the most important thing – acknowledge what’s underneath your iceberg.. what self-limiting beliefs you have, what destructive behaviors are distorting your self-image.. what inner dialogue is running in your head.. do you tend to judge and criticize yourself or are you able to be your own cheerleader..?
Acknowledge your ego and perfectionism, don’t try to get rid of it completely (that would be a perfectionist way of thinking anyways:))
.. and let that be only a reminder that you care about your own goals, needs, and desires.. but you are ready to start small.. one step at a time.. with whatever life brings your way.. just committing to self – not to give up on your life you deserve and desire.
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